Therapist shares toxic things parents can do that damages children
Therapist issues a stark warning to moms and dads about toxic parenting behaviors that could damage their kids for DECADES – as she insists: ‘Loving your child is NOT the same as protecting them’
- Whitney Goodman, from Florida, shared unhealthy things parents can do to kids
- She said one of the worst things is fighting with your partner in front of children
- The therapist also stressed the importance of admitting when you’re wrong
From making them choose sides in a ‘bad marriage’ to treating them like adults, a therapist has warned parents about the toxic things they can do that could negatively impact their children for decades.
Whitney Goodman, an author and a licensed marriage and family therapist from Florida, has become a viral sensation – gaining more than 550,000 followers on Instagram – by detailing how moms and dads by be unknowingly damaging their children through unhealthy parenting behaviors.
According to the relationship expert, one of the worst things that a parent can do is fight with their partner in front of their children, since it makes them feel like they have to pick sides.
She claimed that kids who grow up in homes where adults argue a lot will spend years ‘trying to find stability’ and ‘looking for safety in different ways.’
From making them choose sides in a ‘bad marriage’ to treating them like adults, a therapist warned parents about the toxic things they can do that may impact their children for decades
Whitney Goodman, an author and a licensed marriage and family therapist from Florida, has detailed all of the unhealthy things that moms and dads can do to damage their kids
According to the relationship expert, one of the worst things that a parent can do is fight with their partner in front of their children, since it makes them feel like they have to pick sides
A post shared by whitney goodman lmft (@sitwithwhit)
‘This video is for anyone that grew up in a home where your parents would fight a lot and their marriage was really bad,’ she began in one of her videos.
‘If you grew up in this kind of house, you may have noticed that your family would split off into like different alliances or teams to try to manage the marital discord.
‘So because the marriage wasn’t a good, safe foundation for the family, everybody else had to kind of go and form these new teams.
‘Maybe you and your dad teamed up and you would talk bad about your mom … or maybe your sibling teamed up with your mom.
‘Everybody was trying to find stability, but were also out to get one another at the same time.
‘You’re all looking for safety and trying to find it in different ways. And now, you’ll never be able to achieve the same type of stability you would have felt if your parents had that concrete stable relationship.’
She added that ‘parents do not have to be married to provide a safe foundation,’ and that ‘they just need to communicate respectfully and not pull kids into the discord.’
In a follow-up video, Whitney spoke further about the importance of making a child feel ‘safe’ and ‘protected.’
In a follow-up video, Whitney spoke further about the importance of making a child feel ‘safe’ and ‘protected’
‘A lot of parents will say, “I really loved my child, I really cared about them.” I think we have to remember that loving your child is not the same thing as protecting them,’ she explained
In a third clip, Whitney opened up about another potentially damaging thing that parents can do – fail to say they’re sorry or admit when they’re wrong to their kids
A post shared by whitney goodman lmft (@sitwithwhit)
‘A lot of parents will say, “I really loved my child, I really cared about them.” I think we have to remember that loving your child is not the same thing as protecting them,’ she explained.
‘Sometimes, parents can come from this place of loving, and still put their children in very dangerous situations.
‘The environment that [you put them] in and the things [you go] through could make them feel unsafe or unprotected.’
In a third clip, Whitney opened up about another potentially damaging thing that parents can do – fail to say they’re sorry or admit when they’re wrong to their kids.
‘Growing up with a parent who cannot or will not apologize can be one of the most disorienting and confusing experiences for both a child and an adult,’ she stated.
‘That’s because no one out there, not even parents, is absolved from their responsibility to acknowledge their part in something, apologize, and try to do better.’
In a fourth video, Whitney voiced the importance of treating children like kids rather than ‘expecting them to act like adults’
She said: ‘What I find is that people have no empathy for kids. People expect kids to act like adults. Children are helpless, defenseless, and unable to care for themselves’
A post shared by whitney goodman lmft (@sitwithwhit)
She added that refusing to own your mistakes can make children ‘doubt’ or ‘blame themselves’ for things that the parents do wrong.
In a fourth video, Whitney voiced the importance of treating children like kids rather than ‘expecting them to act like adults.’
She told her followers: ‘I get so many comments from people saying, “Parents are people too,” and, “We need to have empathy for parents.”
‘I’m a parent and I get that. I think parenting is one of the hardest things that you will ever do.
‘But what I find is that people have no empathy for kids. People expect kids to act like adults.
‘Children are helpless, defenseless, and unable to care for themselves physically and emotionally.
‘Adults have power and options. Keep that in mind, it makes the conversation a little bit more fair.’
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