Our Yorkshire Farm's Amanda Owen has spoken out in a new interview about her farming life, admitting she "feels a bit of a failure" at times.
The Channel 5 reality star, 47, was speaking following the breakdown of her marriage to Clive Owen, 57, with whom she shares nine children – Raven, Reuben, Miles, Edith, Violet, Sidney, Annas, Clementine and Nancy.
Talking about life on their farm, the shepherdess told the Yorkshire Post that at times she feels "utterly pathetic" and a "a bit of a failure".
"I feel utterly pathetic when one of my sheep dies," she began, before adding: "I feel like a bit of a failure."
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She continued: "The old adage of ‘when you have livestock you have deadstock’ is true. You have to put it behind you. You can’t dwell on it.
"You can’t shepherd or farm without accepting you are going to lose animals. It is part of the job".
Amanda admitted that she has moments of doubt but describes her job as "very satisfying", adding that farming can be very isolating.
The 47 year old said: "There are moments when I think why the hell am I doing this but overall, it is a very satisfying role.
"You can lose yourself and distance yourself from everyone and everything. Once I go out of that door to work it is back to basics.
"My home life is busy and chaotic, but my work life is solitary. Too much of each one is not good, but living in a remote place gives me peace and quiet."
Speaking about her private life being shared on-screen, Amanda said: "Life is happening whether there's someone filming it or not and that's what keeps everyone grounded".
It was Amanda's first interview since announcing the end of her 21-year marriage to Clive, two weeks ago.
To announce their separation the couple released a joint statement together.
Taking to Instagram, Amanda wrote: "Clive and I have are sad to confirm that we have made the difficult decision to separate.
"This hasn't been easy, but we both believe it's the right choice for the future of our family.
"Although we are no longer a couple, we continue to work on the farm and co-parent together with our number one priority the happiness and well-being of our children."
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